Wild Kingdom....

In the historic town of Plymouth, Massachusetts, there is a public park called Brewster Gardens. Created in the early 1920s, the park covers the original garden plot that was granted to Elser William Brewster in 1620.

Located in the park are a bronze statue, The Pilgrim Maiden by Henry Hudson Kitson (1922) and The Immigrant Memorial by artist Barney Zeitz (2001), a stainless steel sculpture honoring Plymouth’s immigrant settlers from 1700 to 2000.

Also located in the park are hundred's and hundred's of ducks! Everywhere the eye could see. Ducks! Ducks in the water! Ducks in the sky! Ducks on land in the park!

In my early 20s, I was (and still am) interested in photography. At this time, I was also very much fond of ducks. I enjoyed watching them, photographing them and feeding them. I collected duck memorabilia of all kinds. I was a duck fanatic!

While visiting the Plymouth area with my girlfriend on a warm July day, I decided to visit the park to photograph ducks. It would be fun I thought. I would be a modern day Marlin Perkins, beloved host of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.

I slowly walked among the grounds of the park, taking photos as I went along. None of the photos seemed right. I needed a more dramatic angle. I needed a close up! 

That was when I decided that I would belly crawl, slowly slithering across the ground, to get into the perfect position...and that's what I did.

I lowered myself to the ground, down onto my stomach. I gripped the camera in my hands, and I used my elbows to propel myself across the ground. 

Slowly I stalked my prey. Closer and closer I moved, ever so slowly, until I judged that I was close enough. I did not want to frighten the ducks away. Slowly I moved my finger, taking shot after shot after shot. I felt like a true wildlife photographer!!

When I deemed that I had taken enough photos, I slowly crawled back to where where I had started from. I slowly stood and turned around, and my girlfriend immediately started laughing. The more quizzical I looked, the harder she laughed.

When she finally caught her breath and could speak, she told me to look down at my shirt and pants. I lowered my gaze and was both immediately horrified and disgusted! In planning my impromptu photo safari, I made a major mistake. I did not scout my intended path.

Had I done so, it would have become immediately apparent that ducks do not particularly care where they go to the bathroom!!! Hundreds of ducks meant that there is an awful amount of "fowl" deposits and I had crawled 30 yards though it! 

Meanwhile, my girlfriend continued to laugh. The madder I got at her, the more she couldn't control herself. I was fit to be tied. The only saving grace was that underneath the clothes I was wearing, I had on shorts and a t-shirt, so I was able to remove the soiled clothing! Boy was I glad I wasn't trying to photograph elephants!!!

Thanks for reading!!