First tracks...

FIRST TRACKS...

For those of you who don't ski, you get first tracks when you are the first to Ski (or Snowboard) on a trail, thereby leaving first tracks in the snow. You don't get a medal or any any recognition for your accomplishment. It's more of a personal feeling of "I was here first!!!!". For some people, such as myself, that in itself is the reward.

While I love first tracks, and often get to claim them, the simple act of skiing is what really fills me with joy. My ski fever flares up the instant I see the first snow flake of the season. When the weatherman predicts a snow storm, I get as excited with anticipation as I did waiting for Santa as a child!! With that first flake I am off to the shop to have my skis tuned and waxed so they are always ready within a moment's notice.

I grew up in the flat lands of southeastern Massachusetts. I did not grow up in the mountains, and only started skiing (usually once a year) at age 12 with the local church group. My first lesson, if you will, was with one of the older kids taking a group of us younger kids to the top of Okemo Mountain, giving us some rudimentary instructions, and letting us go on our own down the Mountain Road trail. Granted it was a novice trail, but without really understanding going from side to side, I pointed my ski tips down and started to go.

The sensation of speed (although much slower than I ski now) overwhelmed and gave me such an intense sensation of adrenaline that I was instantly hooked!! To this day, the sensation of speed urges me on!! So much so that I even topped out last year, for a very brief moment, at 73 mph. A Personal Best Record for me! I have no conscious thought of trying to break this speed. In fact when it happened, I was merely trying to break 60 mph, having been stuck at 58 mph for the longest time.

Living so far away from the mountains as a child, I never had the opportunity to race on skis, other than with my friends.  When a friend  and I came across an unused race course last season, I couldn't resist running the gates. I had so much fun. I even pretended I was in the Olympics! If you have never run gates while skiing, I suggest you try it when you can. It is a lot of fun and a lot harder than it looks!

I now consider myself an expert skier. It took many, many years to get here. I have crashed more times than I can count, and have on occasions suffered some injuries while skiing. In my opinion, if you haven't fallen at least once while skiing, you just aren't pushing yourself enough.

At 49 years of age, I have decided that this is the year I learn Freestyle skiing. I want to learn to do a 360 off a jump, and land safely of course. I anticipate many bruises and many trips into my hot tub, but I WILL learn to do this. If nothing else, it will make for some entertaining video clips.

One of my favorite things about skiing is the having fun with my friends. While I will ski solo (with my IPod on), I much prefer skiing with friends. It so much more enjoyable to race each other down the hill, or discuss the merits of trying to ski off a cliff or through steep trees. Having a close friend, some decent sunny weather, flash back to the 80s Day and the last day of the season all at the same time is as close as I can imagine getting to heaven.

See you on the slopes and thanks for reading!! Cheers!!

Gone but NEVER forgotten...

Dear Mom,

A lot has happened in the year since you have passed. (I still can't write that without crying...) First and foremost, I feel like a ship that has lost its rudder. I frequently long to call you, only to reminded that you are gone. Jill is having difficulty coming to terms with your passing. I don't know how to help her and it kills me to see my sister still in so much pain.

If your death weren't bad enough, Dad passed three weeks after you from a heart attack. Boy did that send us for a loop. I know that you and he have been divorced for over 30 years, but I think that when you lost your battle with pancreatic cancer, it really affected him.

I remember the last time I saw you. We were are Disney last year. When we hugged and kissed good-bye, I knew in my heart that it was the last time I would see you. We all cried for awhile after you left, and the magic of Disney seemed a muted grey to me. Although I was so happy to be able to give you that time in a place that you loved so much, I was not able to go back there this year. It was the first time in 17 years we did not go Disney. I knew it would be too painful to not being there with you. We have since scheduled a trip for next May, and I am all ready a little anxious about going back, but I know that you will be with me.

As bad as it was saying good-bye, it was nothing compared to the day you died just a short time later. Jill called me to say that I needed to call you because you were going down hill fast. You were not able to speak to me but I was assured by Jim that you could hear me. I tried to be brave, but I couldn't help but cry the entire time I talked to you. I am glad that I got to tell you I loved you one more time, but I hope my sadness didn't cause you anymore distress or pain. Even writing this brings back those memories and I still can't help crying. You died that day after I talked to you. Jill and Jim were with you when you passed.

You were certainly an inspiration to me and everyone with how you faced your cancer. You never once complained and didn't let it define you. You were the definition of grace and bravery. If I handled something like that 1/2  as well as you, I would count myself lucky. You were always my hero and these last couple of years were no exception.

Kyleigh frequently says to me how much she misses you. You were her special grandmother...she still talks about how you and she ran down the halls of the Animal Kingdom Lodge at Disney, pretending to be gazelles. I can't help but smile at that memory.

There is so much more I want to say, but I can't find the words through my tears. You may be gone, but you will never leave our hearts. I love you mom, and always will.

12/3/44 - 11/11/12 - Never forgotten, always loved...