Send in the clowns....

Fears....as adults, we all still have them. Fear of losing a job, fear of something bad happening to our children, fear of a relationship not working out, fear of losing a parent to illness, just to name a few. However, deep down, we know that they are "just fears" and work to overcome them.

As a child, we have even more fears, but from a much more basic perspective, deep down somewhere in our very soul. These are based on unrealistic ideas to adults, yet VERY real to children. As we grow older, we overcome these (hopefully).

As a child, I had lots of fears. Fear of my basement at night (we lived in a house that was well over 100 years old), fear of the "Dead Guy Under the Porch" at my neighbor's house (the older kids scared us with that one), fear of eternal damnation (I went to Catholic School).

However, the three that really gave me fits were Spiders, Clowns and Flying Monkeys!

If you were not afraid of the Flying Monkeys from The Wizard of Oz as a child, there was something seriously wrong with you!! Those guys were scary and would rip the stuffing out of you if they caught you!

Spiders are just plain creepy. There is no sugar coating it. They have too many legs and far to many eyes. If that was bad enough, some of them jump!



That being said, clowns were my number one fear. Let's face it. Clowns are scary. Clown costumes have been used in murder and molestation of children. Clowns just plain suck! Steven King even wrote a book about a bad clown named Pennywise the Clown.

It's called "It", and if you don't believe me that clowns are bad, just read it! Just look at this clown photo. Is that anything a kid should like? No, absolutely not. My fear of clowns, or coulrophobia if you prefer, started a long time ago.

When I was about 4 years old, my mother took me to the Ice Capades. For those of you too young to remember the Ice Capades, think Disney on Ice but with fewer characters and more figure skaters.

Anyway, unbeknownst to me, as we were entering the arena, my mother was approached by a show official who asked her if it would be alright if I was part of the show. Of course, like any parent, she jumped at the chance. ( I would do that now with my children).

At the Intermission of the show, clowns would go out into the audience to collect the children and bring them onto the ice. Sadly, no one told me or thought to ask me if I wanted to do this. I was a very shy child.

At the appointed time, I could see clowns bringing children down to the ice for a sleigh ride in front of the entire show. Suddenly, a clown snuck out from under my seat, took my hand and tried to bring me to the ice. I screamed and cried, and held on to my mother. She, on the other hand, was trying to give me to the Clown!!! How dare she!!! Mothers are supposed to protect children!!! Here she was trying to force me to go with this Clown. I was horrified and howled in protest and even the big swirly lollipop

the Clown offered me would not persuade me to go with the her.

Meanwhile, my aunt Kathy, who was only 6 years older than me, was furious!!! She really wanted to go out on the ice with the kids, but at 10 years old was too old. Her indignity was compounded when everyone relented and decided maybe it was best I stayed in my seat with my mother.  She glared at me when the Clown still gave me the lollipop. The rest of the show went on with little to no drama for me, but I was never brought to the Ice Capades again!!

My fear of clowns has been a source of family amusement throughout my life. Anytime a clown was spotted, it would have to be pointed out to me. My 13 year old daughter still likes to do that to me. She finds it funny her dad doesn't like clowns.

Although I still don't like clowns, I no longer fear them as I did as a child. My aunt, however, did get her revenge on me many years later. At my 40th birthday party, she bought red clown noses and had everyone put one on while I wasn't looking.  When I came out of the bathroom, there were 40 "new clowns" in my house!!

Send in the Clowns? I think not! Thanks for reading!!!